写人的大学英语作文及点评
晨读的地方如果人多,你读英语会不会遇到磕磕巴巴的情况呢?下面是学习啦小编给大家整理的写人的大学英语作文及点评,供大家参阅!
写人的大学英语作文及点评:A Poor Man
It was a festival, like any festival actually. The sunshine was dazzling, the music deafening, and the people teasing each other. Almost everywhere were those who had relieved them selves from the routine work, expecting for a new start.
学习啦在线学习网 Except one a small man, whose age was hard to tell. He was huddled up in the corner, a few metres from the happy holiday crowds who were hurrying to and from. He was covered in a piece of pale blue cloth. For quite a long time, he was still with out even a slight motion, nor did he make any gestures. Begging for money? Or weeping over his misfortune? Neither. He was just sitting there, alone and silent. His hair was grey, much like the withered grass, fluttering on a frosted autumn morning. A bird might well have perched on his head for such a cozy nest, if it were not so dirty. His face was pale and twisted. The nose and the mouth were squeezed to one side. His eyes were frosted, looking inward like the windows of a snowbound cottage. Was he blind? Sometimes, he moved his mouth, murmuring as if to say something. But who cared to listen, on so brilliant and joyful a day?
简 评
本文细致地描写了蜷缩在墙角的一个可怜的人。文章开头是一群人在狂欢:眩目的阳光、震耳欲聋的音乐、嬉闹的人群,衬托出不远处有一个人孤零零地蜷缩在墙角。作者对这个可怜的人进行了细致入微的描写:一块旧布裹住他的身体,乱草堆似的头发,脸呈褐色,脸型扭曲而不对称,眼睛内陷,也许已失明,有时动动嘴巴,也许在诉说着什么。作者的描写由远及近,从衣着到眼睛,越来越细致。而且运用了一系列生动的比喻,如:A bird might well have perched On his head for such a cozy nest,if it were not so dirty;His eyes were frosted,looking inward 1ike the windows of a snowbound cottage等,表现出作者细致的观察力和丰富的想像力。整篇文章中,作者都没有指明他的身份,只是在猜测:他一动不动地坐在那儿,是在乞讨呢?还是在为自己的不幸遭遇而哭泣?愈加令人同情。
学习啦在线学习网 文章的最后一句再次将这个人的孤苦伶仃和周围人的快乐放在一起进行对照,进一步渲染了他的悲惨境遇。如果作者能够进一步加强两者之间的对照,效果则更佳。可以引起读者的思考:这个可怜的人究竟可怜在何处?脏?病?无家可归?最可怕的是人与人之间的冷漠。
写人的大学英语作文及点评:A Beggar
学习啦在线学习网 At a street corner squats a beggar. He is always there, under the tree, in the shade. Senile as he is, he crouches in some ragged pieces of cloth. He is there, always there, like a sculpture in the street. Day after day, thousands of people pass in front of him hurriedly. Some spare coins, most give a quick glance in disgust. However, it shocks me very much. What a miserable life a human being can bear!
学习啦在线学习网 At the first sight, you will be appalled that God has created such an emaciated creature. His dark face is full of wrinkles, deep or shallow. They remind people of the hardship the beggar has experienced. His cheeks are bony while his neck is so thin. His hair is bedraggled like a nest, a nest with a coat of oil. What an impressive sculpture it is! Most of the time, his mouth speaks while his eyes are half closed. But once a pedes trian passes by, he will keep nodding his head slightly and auto matically as if a gust of wind had forced him to do so. At the same time, he raises his gnarled right hand from the ground,murmuring to beg. What a hand! It is a seamy, shriveled hand. The wrinkles in his skin are stretching, twisting and in tersecting. Dirt fills the grooves. In front of him lies an dilapidated bowl with only a few coins in it. Believe it or not, it is more and more difficult to make a living by begging. Beside him, there is a stick as slim as his legs as if the third leg of the poor old beggar.
学习啦在线学习网 The sun is shining in the sky, but it doesn't shine every corner of the world. There are still people who are not bathed in the sunshine. The beggar is just one of them.
简 评
本文用生动的语言形象地刻画了一位在路边以乞讨为生的孤苦老人。作者非常注重细节的描写,如乞讨者布满皱纹、饱经风霜的脸,乱蓬蓬油腻的头发,半张半合的眼睛,粗糙的手,瘦弱的腿和脖子,他面前的破碗,破烂的衣服等。还包括乞讨者的动作,如向行人点头,伸手乞讨等。此外,作者还描述了行人厌恶的神色,进一步渲染了乞讨者艰难的处境,以唤起读者的共鸣。
美中不足的是作者对乞讨者的描写没有遵循一定的顺序。描写文的写作一般要按一定的空间顺序组织,如:从上到下、从里到外、从远到近等,使文章显得更有条理。此外,在描写人物时,要抓住其最主要的特征,避免面面俱到。
本文在语言表达上的一大特色是词汇丰富而准确。如bony(cheeks),thin(neck),bedraggled(hair),gnarled(hand),stretching,twisting,intersecting(wrinkles),dilapidated(bowl)等。作者还恰如其分地运用了一些修辞手法,特别是比喻,如His hair is bedraggled like a nest,a nest with a coat Of oil;there is a stick as slim as his legs;he will keep nodding his head slightly and auto matically as if a gust of wind had forced it to do so.
(点评教师:黄莺)
写人的大学英语作文及点评:A Respectable Professor
Not all lectures serve as utilitarian tools. You have to turn to the perfect series of lectures on quantum mechanics presented by Professor Su Rukeng to see a case in which the class plays an exclusively and purely academic role, providing you with motivation, inspiration and philosophy.
学习啦在线学习网 With medium stature, thick spectacles and insightful eyes,not only does Professor Su possess the typical characteristics of a learned man, but he is also a genuine scholar, which is reflected in his classes distinctly.
It is generally assumed that lectures on pure science delivered by a conventional scientist, usually indifferent and emotionless, are boring and extremely difficult in that the expression of such topics, if not sheerly descriptive, is inevitably and completely mathematical and analytical without lively pictures.However, that is not Mr. Su's style.
On the contrary, ranked among the most enjoyable and comprehensible lecturers, Mr. Su is characterized by the encyclope dic knowledge, the appreciable and vivid physical picture visual
ization, the intuitive and profound philosophical ideas and the exceptionally attractive burnout.
学习啦在线学习网 As a scientist engaged in the study of nature and the explanation of the universe, Mr. Su seriously believes in the harmony and simplicity, as the fundamental essences, of the natural world, which compose the central motives of his ideology and are the real significance that we learn from him.
As a consequence, Professor Su, together with his extraor dinary creativeness and imaginativeness, exerts a strong influence upon us and greatly encourages us to ponder on the essence of the universe and our lives.
简 评
学习啦在线学习网 本文描写了作者的一个老师Professor Su。他的与众不同之处在于能把枯燥的纯理论课程讲得生动而有趣。作者首先描写了教授的外貌:medium stature,thick spectacles and insightful eyes,俨然是一个学者的形象;然后作者指出,与传统观念相反,Professor Su的课程能激发学生的灵感和求知欲。作者有一段这样的描写:Mr.Su is characterized by the encyclopedic knowledge,the appreciable and vivid physical picture visualization,the intuitive and profound philosophical ideas and the exceptionally attractive humour,几个并列的词组勾勒出教授的博学和风格。最后,作者提到了教授对自己的影响:激励自己思索宇宙和人生的真谛。
文章词汇丰富、用词准确,但不足之处是作者过分依赖长句。全文只有一个短句:However,that is not Mr.Su's style.一般来说,短句铿锵有力,适合用来突出或强调所表达的观点;长句适合表达较为复杂的观点或内容,描述性或理论性的内容。如果一个
段落或一篇文章全是简单句,会使所表达的内容缺乏连贯性和完整性;而长句过多则显得重点不突出,拖沓冗长,也增加了理解上的难度。因此要合理地交替使用长短句:如在使用一系列长句以表达复杂的思想和画面之后,用一个短句收尾,能产生一种新鲜和扣人心弦的效果;或在一系列短句之后使用一个长句,能让读者有一种圆满的感觉。
学习啦在线学习网 此外,作者还用了很多插入成分,使句子不够流畅。插入成分太多,容易出现主谓不一致的情况。
(点评教师:黄莺)
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