爆笑五年级英语笑话大全
爆笑五年级英语笑话大全
书面笑话远在先秦时期即已产生,民间以口头形式流传的笑话当为更早。下面是学习啦小编带来的五年级英语笑话，欢迎阅读!
五年级英语笑话精选
(一)
律师的咨询费
学习啦在线学习网 A man called a lawyer and asked, “How much would you charge me to answer three questions?”
学习啦在线学习网 有个人打电话给律师，问道：“你回答三个问题的收费是多少钱?”律师回答说：“四百美元。”
The lawyer said, “0 dollars!”And the man said, “That’s a lot of money, isn’t it?”The lawyersaid, “I guess so. What’s your third question?”
学习啦在线学习网 这个人说：“这要不少钱，不是吗?”律师回答说：“我想是吧!你的第三个问题是什么?”
(二)
Ashamed Soldier 惭愧的士兵
Peter joined the army when he was eighteen, and for several months he was taught how to be a good soldier. He did quite well in everything except shooting.One day he and his friends were practicing their shooting, and all of them were doing quite well except Peter.
学习啦在线学习网 彼得十八岁那年参了军，他需要参加几个月的学习以成为一名好士兵。彼得在其他方面都做得很好，但是射击不行。一天他和伙伴们练习射击，除了彼得其他人都没有问题。
After he had shot at the target nine times and had not hit it once, the officer who was trying to teach the young soldiers to shoot said, You're quite hopeless, Peter! Don't waste your last bullet too! Go behind that wall and shoot yourself with it!
他射了九次，一次也没有命中目标。这时，教新兵射击的教官说：彼得，你看来是没希望了，不要连最后一发子弹都浪费掉!去那堵墙后面用它向自己打一枪吧。
学习啦在线学习网 Peter felt ashamed. He went behind the wall, and a few seconds later the officer and the other young soldiers heard the sound of a shot.Heavens! The officer said. Has that silly man really shot himself?He ran behind the wall anxiously, but Peter was all right. I'm sorry, sir, he said, but I missed again.
学习啦在线学习网 彼得感到非常惭愧。他走到那堵墙后面。几分钟后，教官和新兵们听到一声枪响。上帝!教官叫起来，难道那个笨蛋真的朝自己开枪了?他急忙跑到那堵墙后面，发现彼得安然无恙。对不起，长官，他说，我还是没有命中。
五年级英语笑话阅读
(一)
Brotherly love 驴子和我兄弟般的感情
学习啦在线学习网 Teacher: Cassandra, if I saw a man beating a donkey and I stopped him, what virtue would I bedemonstrating?
学习啦在线学习网 老师：Cassandra，如果我看见有人在殴打一头驴，我制止了他，我显示出了什么美德?
Cassandra: Brotherly love?
Cassabdra：兄弟般的关爱?
(二)
They're known for their love ofsleep, so it's not surprising this koala was far from happy when it was rudely awakened with adrenching from a garden sprinkler.
学习啦在线学习网 我们都知道考拉喜欢睡觉，所以当被花园的洒水车淋个湿透吵醒之后，这只考拉当然一点都不高兴。
The furry creature, which rests for up to 18 hours a day, was fast asleep in a tree when it wassoaked by a gardener watering his trees.
毛茸茸的考拉据说每天要睡上18个小时，当时正在树上酣然入睡，结果被浇水的园丁没注意淋了它一身。
And as these images show, the koala was more than a little peeved at its unexpected soaking.
从照片中我们可以看到，这只考拉被意想不到的”天降奇雨”淋着了之后可是相当得不高兴。
The images were taken by Matt Wilkinson, 39, in the garden of his home in Adelaide, Australia.He said: 'There was a particular bad heatwave in Adelaide recently and temperatures reachedup to 40C.
学习啦在线学习网 照片的拍摄者是来自澳大利亚39岁的马特-威尔金森，照片是在他位于阿德雷德市的家中花园里拍的。他表示：“阿德雷德着最近天气奇热无比，温度直逼40摄氏度。”
学习啦在线学习网 'The koalas hang around in a tree in my garden when it is hot, it's on the southern side of thehouse and relatively cool.
学习啦在线学习网 “天气很热的时候，考拉们会在我家花园的树上呆着，因为树在房子的靠南位置，所以相对会比较清凉。”
"We use the sprinklers and garden hose to wet the house and surrounding trees when it's hotto avoid a bush fire but when I watered one of the trees, this koala got a bit of a soaking.'
“天气比较热的时候，我们会用洒水器和花园用的浇水软管来给房子和周围的树木洒水，防止灌木发生火灾。不过在我给其中一棵树浇水的时候，这只考拉就湿透了。”
学习啦在线学习网 But while the koala may look far from happy about his soaking, Mr Wilkinson said it would havehelped it cool off. He said: 'It was a boiling hot day so I'm sure it helped the koala cool down.
学习啦在线学习网 不过虽然考拉因为被淋湿了看起来很不爽，威尔金森先生表示浇水可以让它凉快一些。他说道：“那天热得跟火炉一样，所以我敢肯定有帮他凉快一些。”
'Koalas usually don't need to drink, as they get their moisture requirements from gum leavesbut on that day, the koala's were licking at the trunk of the tree where the water was tricklingdown. They were quite thirsty.'
“考拉一般不需要喝水，树胶树叶就可以满足它们的水分需求，但那一天，我看到当水从树上滴下来的时候，那只考拉在舔树干。他们真的非常渴。”
学习啦在线学习网 After accidentally drenching the animal, Mr Wilkinson quickly grabbed his camera before headingto the end of his garden to take these pictures.
不小心把考拉浇到湿透，威尔金森先生迅速抓起相机冲到花园的另一端拍下了这些照片。
Either the koala was curious, or wanted tothank me, as it climbed out along the tree branch and stayed at the end of it just looking atme. It even stuck its tongue out which helped me get some great photos.'
“考拉也许是很好奇，也许是想感谢我，它沿着树枝爬出来，停在树枝的末端看着我。它甚至还伸出了舌头，这可帮我拍到了不少很赞的照片。”
关于五年级英语笑话
(一)
长寿秘诀 Secret For a Long Life
A woman walks up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch.I couldn't help noticing howhappy you look, she says.
学习啦在线学习网 一位女士走向坐在门廊的椅子上摇动的小老头。我无意中发现，你是多么幸福，那女士说。
What's your secret for a long, happy life? I smoke three packs a day, drink a case of whiskey aweek, eat fatty foods and never, ever exercise.Wow, that's amazing, says the woman. How oldare you?Twenty-six.
你幸福而长寿的秘密是什么?我每天抽三包烟，每周喝一箱威士忌，吃高脂肪食品，而且从来不曾锻炼。哦，真神奇，女士说。你高寿?二十六。