英语爆笑笑话带翻译摘抄
笑话是幽默的一种表现形式,通过阐述语用因素对英语笑话言语的作用机制,可以探索英语幽默话语的语用特征和动态运行模式。下面小编整理了英语爆笑笑话带翻译，希望大家喜欢!
英语爆笑笑话带翻译摘抄
沉默誓言 (中英)
学习啦在线学习网 A middle-class man decides to go off and join a monastery, which requires an oath of silence. No speech is allowed except for two words every 5 years, to sum up one’s experiences to the head monk.
一个中产阶级男子决心远离红尘，去当修道士。每个出家的人都必须要立个沉默誓言，那就是每五年只允许说两个字，作为对这一段时间所经历事情的总结。
After the first 5 years，the monk asked him what two words described his experiences and all he said was "HARD BEDS.”
第一个五年过去了，当修道士让他用两个字总结这五年的经历时，那人说道“破床”。
学习啦在线学习网 When the next 5-year period came the monk asked how things were and he replied: "BAD FOOD.”
又过了五年，当修道士再次问道他的时候，他回答“猪食”。
After 5 more years，he walked up to the monk and said，"I QUIT!”
第三个五年过后他对修道士说“放弃”。
The monk nodded and muttered，“Yes , this doesn't surprise me. You've been doing nothing but complaining for the past 15 years!”
学习啦在线学习网 道十点了点头喃喃地说道:“果不出我所料，这十五年来除了抱怨以外你什么也没有做。”
英语爆笑笑话带翻译鉴赏
场景 (中英)
学习啦在线学习网 Did you hear the one about the ethnic who came home and found his wife between the sheets with another man? Well，he pulls out a gun, saying,“ That’s enough! I’m going to put an end to this once and for all!” Then he puts the gun up to his head.
学习啦在线学习网 你有没有听说过有一个人，当他回到家后发现自己的妻子正和另一个男人在鬼混，他立刻拔出手枪喊到:“我受够了!看来今天是要做一个了结了!”说完他将枪口对准自己的头。
The unfaithful wife shouts, "Don’t do it! Don’t do it! Don’t kill yourself !” The enraged ethnic replies, "Shut up, bitch，because you're next!”
这时那个荡妇喊到:“不，不要这样，你可不能自杀呀!”那人听了愤怒地吼道:“闭嘴，泼妇，下一个死的就是你!”
英语爆笑笑话带翻译赏析
学习啦在线学习网 疼痛之极 (中英)
A construction worker was rushed to the hospital after cutting himself badly. The doctor told the nurse to prepare a painkiller. "Don’t bother Doctor," said the man. "I' ve been through a lot worse."
学习啦在线学习网 一个伤痕累累的建筑工人冲进了一家医院，医生马上让护士去拿止痛药，“不必麻烦您了，医生。”那人说道，“比这更痛的伤我都经历过了。”
"More painful than this?" the doctor asked.
学习啦在线学习网 “比现在的伤还要痛吗?”医生问。
"I’11 tell you about the second most painful accident I ever had. I was hunting one day and had to take a shit so I dropped my pants and squatted. I tripped a bear trap and BOOM，the thing snapped shut on my balls."
“我先说说让我感到还不是最痛苦的那件事吧，一天我在打猎的时候突然想要大便，于是就脱掉裤子蹲在地上，不料被捕熊的夹子绊倒了，那东西夹住了我的皋丸。”
The doctor winced, "That’s awful. But tell me, what could be worse?"
医生听后颤抖了一下，说道“太可怕了，那告诉我什么又是最痛苦的事呢?”
学习啦在线学习网 "When I reached the end of the chain."
“当我摸到锁链尽端的时候。”
英语爆笑笑话带翻译欣赏
学习啦在线学习网 与上帝为伍 (中英)
A farmer purchases an old，run-down, abandoned farm with plans to turn it into a thriving enterprise. The fields are grown over with weeds，the farmhouse is falling apart，and the fences are collapsing all around.
学习啦在线学习网 一个农民买了一块破旧荒废的农场，他准备把这块农场变成兴旺的园林。然而目前这块地是杂草丛生，房屋破旧不堪，四周的篱笆也是东倒西歪。
学习啦在线学习网 During his first day of work，the town preacher stops by to bless the man’s work，saying, "May you and God work together to make this the farm of your dreams!”
在他第一天工作的时候，城里的一个传教士给他送去了祝福:“愿上帝与你一起实现你的梦想吧!”
A few months later, the preacher stops by again to call on the farmer. I}ok and behold，it’s like a completely different place-the farmhouse is completely rebuilt and in excellent condition，there are plenty of cattle and other livestock happily munching on feed in well-fenced pens，and the fields are filled with crops planted in neat rows.
学习啦在线学习网 几个月以后，那个传教士又一次来到农场，快看那，这里与上次相比简直是天壤之别。房屋重新修好了，条件也比以前好多了，成群的牛羊在欢快地吃着青草，地里的庄稼也整整齐齐的排列着。
"Amazing!” the preacher says. "Look what God and you have accomplished together!"
学习啦在线学习网 “太神奇了”，传教士惊呼道:“看那，上帝和你一起实现了你的梦想!”
学习啦在线学习网 "Yes, reverend,” says the farmer, "but remember what the farm was like when God was working it alone!"
“没错，教士，”那个农民说道:“可你也要记住当初这个农场只由上帝一人支配的时候是个什么样子!”