关于好笑的简短英文笑话
冷笑话作为一种新兴的口头文类,有其鲜明的特色,而现有的定义和分类却把冷笑话作为一种既成文本来加以分析,忽略了其生存语境。本文是关于好笑的简短英文笑话，希望对大家有帮助!
关于好笑的简短英文笑话：Mirror On The Wall
学习啦在线学习网 Legend has it that there is a bar in New York where, in the Ladies Room, there is a very special mirror. If one stands in front of the mirror and tells the truth, one is granted a wish. However, if one tells a lie, *POOF* you are instantly swallowed up by the mirror, never to be seen again.
A redhead of questionable looks walks into the Ladies Room and stands before the mirror and says, "I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world." *POOF* The mirror swallows her.
Next, a rather large brunette stands before the mirror and says, "I think I think I'm the sexiest woman alive! *POOF* The mirror swallows her.
学习啦在线学习网 Then an absolutely gorgeous blond comes in and stands before the mirror and says, "I think..."
关于好笑的简短英文笑话：Brain Store
A man went to a brain store to get some brain for dinner. He sees a sign remarking on the quality of professional brain offered at this particular brain store. So he asks the butcher: "How much for Engineer brain?" "3 dollars an ounce." "How much for doctor brain?" "4 dollars an ounce." "How much for lawyer brain?" "100 dollars an ounce." "Why is lawyer brain so much more?" "Do you know how many lawyers you need to kill to get one ounce of brain?"
关于好笑的简短英文笑话：Make Like A Frog
学习啦在线学习网 A seven year old boy goes to the hospital with his grandmother to visit his grandfather.
When they arrive, Johnny runs ahead of his granny, and bursts into his grandfather's room.
学习啦在线学习网 "Grandpa", the boy says, "As soon as Grandma comes into the room, make the sounds of a frog,"
"What for?" asked his Grandpa.
"Grandma said that as soon as you croak, we're going to Disney World"
关于好笑的简短英文笑话： A Returned Favor From Warsaw
This has got to be the all-time classic comeback. Note: This is an exact replication of National Public Radio(NPR)interview between a female broadcaster, and US Army General Reinwald who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military installation.
学习啦在线学习网 INTERVIEWER: " So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?"
GENERAL REINWALD: 'We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and shooting."
学习啦在线学习网 INTERVIEWER: "Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?"
GENERAL REINWALD: "I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range."
INTERVIEWER: "Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?"
GENERAL REINWALD: "I don't see how, ....we will be teaching them proper rifle range discipline before they even touch a firearm."
INTERVIEWER: " But you're equipping them to become violent killers."
学习啦在线学习网 GENERAL REINWALD: "Well, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?"
学习啦在线学习网 The radio went silent and the interview ended!
关于好笑的简短英文笑话：Pregnant
Q. Should I have a baby after 35?
学习啦在线学习网 A. No, 35 children is enough.
Q. When will my baby move?
学习啦在线学习网 A. With any luck, right after he finishes high school.
Q. How will I know if my vomiting is morning sickness or the flu?
学习啦在线学习网 A. If it's the flu, you'll get better.
Q. Since I became pregnant, my breasts, rear-end, and even my feet have grown. Is there anything that gets smaller during pregnancy?
学习啦在线学习网 A. Yes, your bladder.
Q. What is the most common pregnancy craving?
学习啦在线学习网 A. For men to be the ones who get pregnant.
学习啦在线学习网 Q. What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
学习啦在线学习网 A. Childbirth.
学习啦在线学习网 Q. The more pregnant I get, the more often strangers smile at me. Why?
学习啦在线学习网 A. 'Cause you're fatter than they are.
Q. My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderlineirrational.
学习啦在线学习网 A. So what's your question?
Q. What's the difference between a nine-month pregnant woman and a model?
A. Nothing, if the pregnant woman's husband knows what's good for him.
Q. How long is the average woman in labor?
学习啦在线学习网 A. Whatever she says, divided by two.
学习啦在线学习网 Q. My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A. Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.
学习啦在线学习网 Q. When is the best time to get an epidural?
A. Right after you find out you're pregnant.
学习啦在线学习网 Q. Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
学习啦在线学习网 A. Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.
Q. What does it mean when the baby's head is crowning?
学习啦在线学习网 A. It means you feel as though not only a crown but the entire throne is trying to make its way out of you.
Q. Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
学习啦在线学习网 A. Yes, pregnancy.
学习啦在线学习网 Q. Does pregnancy cause hemorrhoids?
A. Pregnancy causes anything you want to blame it for.
Q. Where is the best place to store breast milk?
A. In your breasts.
Q. Is there a safe alternative to breast pumps?
A. Yes, baby lips.
学习啦在线学习网 Q. What does it mean when a baby is born with teeth?
学习啦在线学习网 A. It means that the baby's mother may want to rethink her plans to nurse.
Q. How does one sanitize nipples?
学习啦在线学习网 A. Bathe daily and wear a clean bra. It beats boiling them in a saucepan.
Q. What are the terrible twos?
学习啦在线学习网 A. Your breasts after baby stops nursing cold turkey.
Q. What is the best time to wean the baby from nursing?
A. When you see teeth marks.
Q. Do I have to have a baby shower?
学习啦在线学习网 A. Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.
学习啦在线学习网 Q. Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A. When the kids are in college.
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