小学爆笑英文小笑话大全
笑话一般比较短小,喜剧性很强,普遍存在于人们的日常生活中。笑话的娱乐作用可以减轻人的心理压力,促进身体健康。学习啦小编分享小学爆笑英文小笑话，希望可以帮助大家!
小学爆笑英文小笑话：Barking Beagles and Blondes
A husband and his blonde wife were in bed asleep. About 2 AM they both awoke to the neighbors dog barking extremely loudly...
学习啦在线学习网 After lying there for the next 30 minutes unable to go to sleep, she tells her husband to go do something about the barking dog. He tells her he has tried to tell the dog to be quiet before and the dog always continues to bark!
There's nothing HE can do...
学习啦在线学习网 After another 15 minutes of barking, in frustration, the blonde wife retorts,"Well, if you won't do anything, I WILL!"
学习啦在线学习网 She jumps out of bed and disappears outside. A few minutes later she is back in bed.
学习啦在线学习网 The husband sat up in bed, and still hears the dog barking. He asks, "I thought you said you could fix the barking problem...I still hear him barking!"
学习啦在线学习网 She replies, "I DID fix the problem! I tied the dog in OUR yard! LET'S SEE HOW THE NEIGHBORS LIKE THAT!"
小学爆笑英文小笑话：A 50th Wedding Anniversary
At Saint Mary's Catholic Church they have a weekly husband's marriage seminar. At a session, last week, the Priest asked Luigi, who was approaching his 50th wedding anniversary, to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he had managed to stay married to the same woman all these years.
Luigi replied to the assembled husbands, "Well, I've a-tried to treat-a her nice, spend the money on her, but best is that I took-a her to Italy for the 20th anniversary!" The Priest responded, "Luigi, you are an amazing inspiration to all the husbands here! Please tell us what you are planning for your wife for your 50th anniversary." Luigi proudly replied, "I'm a-gonna go to get her."
小学爆笑英文小笑话：A Conversation with Mom
学习啦在线学习网 Mother: 'Hello?'
学习啦在线学习网 Daughter: 'Hi Mom. Can I leave the kids with you tonight?'
学习啦在线学习网 Mother: 'You're going out?'
学习啦在线学习网 Daughter: 'Yes.'
学习啦在线学习网 Mother: 'With whom?'
Daughter: 'With a friend.'
Mother: 'I don't know why you left your husband. He is such a good man.'
学习啦在线学习网 Daughter: 'MOM, I didn't leave him. He left me!'
Mother: 'You let him leave you, and now you go out with anybodies and nobodies.'
学习啦在线学习网 Daughter: 'MA, I do not go out with anybody. Can I bring over the kids?'
Mother: 'I never left you to go out with anybody except your father.'
学习啦在线学习网 Daughter: 'There are lots of things that you did and I don't.'
学习啦在线学习网 Mother: 'What are you hinting at?
Daughter: 'Nothing. I just want to know if I can bring the kids over tonight..'
学习啦在线学习网 Mother: 'You're going to stay the night with him? What will your husband say if he finds out?'
Daughter: 'MA, its My EX husband. I don't think he would be bothered. From the day he left me, he probably never slept alone!'
学习啦在线学习网 Mother: 'So you're going to sleep over at this loser's place?'
学习啦在线学习网 Daughter: 'MOM, He's not a loser.'
学习啦在线学习网 Mother: 'A man who goes out with a divorced woman with children is a loser and aparasite.'
学习啦在线学习网 Daughter: 'MA, I don't want to argue; should I bring over the kids or not?'
Mother: 'Poor children with such a mother.'
Daughter: 'Such a what?'
Mother: 'With no stability. No wonder your husband left you.'
学习啦在线学习网 Daughter: 'ENOUGH MA!!!'
Mother: 'Don't scream at me. You probably scream at the loser too!'
学习啦在线学习网 Daughter: 'Great MA, Now you're worried about the loser?'
Mother: 'Ah, so you see he is a loser and I spotted him immediately.'
Daughter: 'Goodbye, mother.'
Mother: 'Wait! Wait! Don't hang up! When are you bringing them over? '
Daughter: 'I'm not bringing them over! I'm not going out!'
Mother: 'If you never go out ...how do you expect to meet anyone?"
小学爆笑英文小笑话：Blondes At A Lightbulb
学习啦在线学习网 Three blondes are attempting to change a light bulb.
学习啦在线学习网 One of them decides to call 911.
学习啦在线学习网 Blonde: We need help. We're three blondes changing a light bulb.
学习啦在线学习网 Operator: Hmmmmm. You put in a fresh bulb?
学习啦在线学习网 Blonde: Yes.
Operator: The power in the house in on?
学习啦在线学习网 Blonde: Of course.
Operator: And the switch is on?
Blonde: Yes, yes.
学习啦在线学习网 Operator: And the bulb still won't light up?
学习啦在线学习网 Blonde: No, it's working fine.
Operator: Then what's the problem?
学习啦在线学习网 Blonde: We got dizzy spinning the ladder around, and we all fell and hurt ourselves.
小学爆笑英文小笑话：Interview With A Blonde
The local sheriff in a small suburban town was looking for a deputy He posted ads in the paper, and sure enough, Lisa, a wonderful looking blonde, went in to try out for the job. She wasn't the sharpest nail in the bucket, but seeing as she had a natural charismaabout her, the sheriff gave her an interview...
"Okay," the sheriff drawled, "Lisa, what is 1 and 1?"
学习啦在线学习网 "11!" she enthusiastically replied.
学习啦在线学习网 The sheriff thought to himself, "That's not what I meant, but she's right in a way..."
"Okay, Lisa. What two days of the week start with the letter 'T'?"
学习啦在线学习网 "Shucks, that's easy," the blonde replied. "Today and tomorrow!"
The sheriff was again surprised that Lisa supplied a correct answer that he had never thought of himself.
He thought of his next question carefully to make sure there could be no equivocationabout the answer:
学习啦在线学习网 "Now Lisa, listen carefully: Who killed Abraham Lincoln?"
学习啦在线学习网 Lisa looked a little surprised, thought really hard for a minute and finally admitted, "I don't know."
学习啦在线学习网 "Well, why don't you go home and work on that one for a while," the sheriff replied with satisfaction.
So, Lisa wandered over to the salon where her pals were waiting to hear the results of the interview.
"How'd it go?" they all asked.
Lisa was ecstatic. "It went great! First day on the job and I'm already working on a murder case!"
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