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有关最好笑的英文笑话阅读

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学习啦在线学习网有关最好笑的英文笑话阅读

学习啦在线学习网   民间笑话故事像神话小说等民间文学一样,是广大劳动人民在长期的生产劳动和与自然界作斗争的过程中,以口头形式创作和传承的文学体裁。本文是有关最好笑的英文笑话,希望对大家有帮助!

  有关最好笑的英文笑话:Catching The Blonde

学习啦在线学习网   by 5, 10 or 20 kilograms on the first day. So he goes and tells them he wants to lose 5 kg. They strip him and lead him into a huge gym with all kinds of ropes and parallel bars and ladders and tell him to wait a minute. He's standing there when on the far side of the gym a door opens and out steps a gorgeous blonde, stark naked, with a sign saying

学习啦在线学习网   "If you catch me, I'm yours."

学习啦在线学习网   He starts running, and just as he gets close, she starts picking up speed. Before he knows it, he's running all over the gym, up the ladders, down the ladders, across the parallel bars, here and there. And just as he's about to catch the blonde, pop, she disappears through a door. In comes the management who lead him to the showers, and then weigh him. Sure enough, he lost exactly 5 kg.

  He's back on the street and starts to think.

  "Jesus, I was so close to catching her. If I had a little more time..."

  So he races back to the gym and says, "I want to lose 20 more kg."

学习啦在线学习网   "No problem," says the manager.

  Again he strips, and is led to the large gym. This time he's standing by the door when it opens. Out comes a gorilla with a sign

  "If I catch you, you're mine."

  有关最好笑的英文笑话:Blonde And Chimps

  A blonde motorist was two hours from Sydney when she was flagged down by a man whose truck had broken down. The man walked up to the blonde's car and asked, "Are you going to Sydney?"

学习啦在线学习网   "Sure," answered the blonde, "do you need a lift?"

学习啦在线学习网   "Not for me. I'll be spending the next three hours fixing my truck. My problem is I've got two chimpanzees in the back which have to be delivered to Taronga Park Zoo. They're a bit stressed already so I don't want to keep them on the road all day. Could you possibly take them to the zoo for me? I'll give you fifty dollars for your trouble."

学习啦在线学习网   "I'd be happy to," said the blonde.

学习啦在线学习网   So the two chimpanzees were ushered into the back seat of the blonde's car and carefully strapped into their seat belts. Off they went.

学习啦在线学习网   Five hours later, the truck driver was driving through the heart of Sydney when suddenly he was horrified. There was the blonde walking down the street and holding hands with the two chimps, much to the amusement of the crowd.

  With a screech of brakes he pulled off the road and ran over to the blonde.

  "What the hell are you doing here?" he demanded, "I gave you fifty dollars to take these chimpanzees to the zoo."

  "Yes, I know you did," said the blonde, "but just as we arrived it looked like it was going to rain so we decided to see a movie instead."

  有关最好笑的英文笑话:Leaving Early

  A BRUNETTE, A REDHEAD & A BLONDE all worked in the same office with the same female boss. Every day, they noticed their boss left work early.

  One day, the girls decided that when the boss left, they'd leave right behind her. After all, she never called in or came back to the office when she left early, so how was she to know?

学习啦在线学习网   The next day, they all three left the office right after the boss left. The brunette was thrilled to be home early. She did a little gardening and went to bed early.

学习啦在线学习网   The redhead was elated to be able to get in a quick workout at the health club before meeting her dinner date.

  The blonde was happy, happy, happy to be home, but when she got to the bedroom she heard a muffled noise from inside. Slowly, quietly, she cracked open the door and wasmortified to see her husband in bed with HER BOSS.

  Ever so gently, she closed the door and crept out of her house. The next day at coffee break, the brunette and redhead decided they were leaving early again, and asked the blonde if she was coming with them.

学习啦在线学习网   "NO WAY," she exclaimed, "I almost got caught yesterday"

  有关最好笑的英文笑话:How To Lose Weight

  A blonde is terribly overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet. "I want you to eatregularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least 5 pounds."

  When the blonde returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds. "Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said, "Did you follow my instructions?"

  The blonde nodded, "I'll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that 3rd day."

  "From hunger, you mean?", asked the doctor."

学习啦在线学习网   "No, from all that skipping."

  有关最好笑的英文笑话:Bowling Tournament

学习啦在线学习网   Two bowling teams, one all blondes, one all bruneettes, charter a double-decker bus for a weekend bowling tournament in Atlantic City.

学习啦在线学习网   The brunette team rides on the bottom level of the bus, the blonde team rides on the top level.

  The brunette team, down below, is wooping it up and having a great time until one of them realizes she doesn't hear anything from the blondes upstairs, and she decides to investigate.

学习啦在线学习网   When the brunette reaches the top, she finds the blonde team staring straight ahead at the road, frozen in fear, clutching the seats in frount of them with white knuckles.

  "Whats goimg on up here?" asks the brunette. "We're having a great time downstairs!"

  "Yeah," screams a terrified blonde, "but you've got a driver!"

  
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