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经典爆笑英文笑话阅读

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经典爆笑英文笑话阅读

  民间笑话是一种颇受人们喜爱的民间叙事类型,材料丰富,有广泛的现实基础。本文是经典爆笑英文笑话,希望对大家有帮助!

  经典爆笑英文笑话:Looking Young

学习啦在线学习网   A woman was in the kitchen cooking dinner and she was just singing,

学习啦在线学习网   humming and giggling all over herself. Her husband asked her why she was

  so happy. She said, "I went to the doctor today and he said I have the

  breasts of a twenty year old."

学习啦在线学习网   The husband then asked, "What did he say about your fifty year old ass?"

学习啦在线学习网   "Your name didn't come up in our conversation." She replied.

  经典爆笑英文笑话:Brown Balls

  The father of 17 kids goes to the doc's with a rash on his belly. "All right" says the Doc, "drop 'em and let's have a look." Having been confronted with the evidence the Doc exclaims "Yes, you've got a bad rash there, but my word, what brown balls you've got. They're trulyremarkable!".

  The patient is a bit embarrassed and says "Look Doc, what about the rash?"

学习啦在线学习网   "Oh that's easy," said the Doc, "Here's some cream to rub on. By the way, those brown balls are amazing, my I ask....."

  "No," said the patient, "You can't. Now, is that all Doc?"

  "Well, " said the Doctor, " You could stop the rash coming back with a bit better hygiene. Tell your wife you need clean underpants every day. And those really are the brownest balls I've ever seen!"

  The guy goes home and tells his wife that the Doctor says he needs clean underpants every day.

  "What?" she yells, "Clean underpants every day, and me with 17 kids to chase after! Seventeen kids to wash, feed, clothe, get to school, tidy after, and you want clean underpants every day? You must be bloody joking, I haven't even got time to wipe my arse!"

学习啦在线学习网   "Ah" he said, "And that's another thing I wanted to talk to you about..."

  经典爆笑英文笑话:Dead Husbands

  A woman announces to her friend that she is getting married for the fourth time.

学习啦在线学习网   "How wonderful! But I hope you don't mind me asking what happened to your first husband?"

学习啦在线学习网   "He ate poisonous mushrooms and died."

学习啦在线学习网   "Oh, how tragic! What about your second husband?"

  "He ate poisonous mushrooms, too, and died."

  "Oh, how terrible! I'm almost afraid to ask you about your third husband."

学习啦在线学习网   "He died of a broken neck."

  "A broken neck?"

  "He wouldn't eat the mushrooms."

  经典爆笑英文笑话:Affair With The Dentist

学习啦在线学习网   Laura fell for her handsome new dentist like a ton of bricks and pretty soon had lured him into a series of passionate rendezvous in the dental clinic after hours.

  But one day he said sadly, "Laura, honey, we have to stop seeing each other. Your husband's bound to get suspicious."

  "No way, sweetie, he's dumb as a post," she assured him. "Besides, we've been meeting here for six months now and he doesn't suspect a thing."

  "True," agreed the dentist, "but you're down to one tooth!"

  经典爆笑英文笑话:Virgin's Confession

  A sixteen year-old virgin girl has a bad day, so she goes to visit her priest after hours in his office. Late that evening, she goes to his office for guidance and confession.

学习啦在线学习网   "Father, I called a man a son-of-a-bitch yesterday."

学习啦在线学习网   " Why did you call him a son-of-a-bitch?" the priest asked.

  " Because, Father, he touched me on my arm without permission."

  " Do you mean like this?" he asked, as he touched her arm.

学习啦在线学习网   " Yes, Father."

  " That's no reason for calling him a son-of-a-bitch."

  " But, Father, he also touched my breasts."

  " Do you mean like this?" he asked, as he touched her breasts.

学习啦在线学习网   " Yes, Father."

  " That's no reason to call him a son-of-a-bitch."

学习啦在线学习网   " But, Father, he took off my clothes."

  " Do you mean like this?" he asked, as he removed her clothes.

学习啦在线学习网   " Yes, father."

学习啦在线学习网   " That's no reason to call him a son-of-a-bitch."

  " But, Father, then he put his you-know-what in my you-know-where."

学习啦在线学习网   " Do you mean like this?" he asked, as he put his you-know-what in her you-know-where."

  " Yes, Father."

  " That's no reason to call him a son-of-a-bitch."

学习啦在线学习网   " But, Father, he has herpes!

学习啦在线学习网   Remarked the Father, "That son-of-a-bitch!

  
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