关于长篇英语笑话阅读
关于长篇英语笑话阅读
笑话是幽默的一个属概念 ,具有幽默的一切特征。笑话是民族特有幽默的一种形式。本文是关于长篇英语笑话，希望对大家有帮助!
关于长篇英语笑话：Aunt Karen's Moral
学习啦在线学习网 The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment... Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.
学习啦在线学习网 The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.
Ashley said, "My father's a farmer and we have a lot of egg-laying hens.
学习啦在线学习网 One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the car when we hit a big bump in the road and all the eggs went flying and broke and made a mess."
"What's the moral of the story?" asked the teacher.
"Don't put all your eggs in one basket!"
"Very good," said the teacher.
Next little Sarah raised her hand and said, "Our family are farmers too. But we raise chickens for the meat market.
We had a dozen eggs one time, but when they hatched we only got ten live chicks, and the moral to this story is, "don't count your chickens before they're hatched."
学习啦在线学习网 "That was a fine story Sarah. Michael, do you have a story to share?"
"Yes, my daddy told me this story about my Aunt Karen.
学习啦在线学习网 Aunt Karen was a flight engineer in the Gulf War and her plane was hit.
学习啦在线学习网 She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a bottle of whisky, a machine gun and a machete.
She drank the whisky on the way down so it wouldn't break and then she landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops.
She killed seventy of them with the machine gun until she ran out of bullets.
学习啦在线学习网 Then she killed twenty more with the machete until the blade broke. Then she killed the last ten with her bare hands."
学习啦在线学习网 "Good heavens," said the horrified teacher, "what kind of moral did your daddy tell you from that horrible story?"
学习啦在线学习网 "Stay the f#ck away from Aunt Karen when she's been drinking"
关于长篇英语笑话：Women's Instructions
学习啦在线学习网 Never do housework. No man ever made love to a woman because the house was spotless.
学习啦在线学习网 Remember you are known by the idiot you accompany.
学习啦在线学习网 Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers.
What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.
学习啦在线学习网 So many men - so many reasons not to sleep with any of them.
If they can put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all there.
学习啦在线学习网 Tell him you're not his type - you have a pulse.
学习啦在线学习网 Never let your man's mind wander - its too little to be left out alone.
Go for younger men. You might as well - they never mature anyway.
学习啦在线学习网 Never marry a man for money. You'll have to earn every penny.
Definition of a bachelor: A man who has missed the opportunity to make some womanmiserable.
The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he is too old for it.
If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him check books.
学习啦在线学习网 A man's idea of serious commitment is usually, "Oh all right, I'll stay the night".
Women sleep with men who, if they were women, they wouldn't even have bothered to have lunch with.
学习啦在线学习网 Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means you laugh at his.
学习啦在线学习网 If he asks you if you if you're faking it tell him no, you're just practicing.
学习啦在线学习网 When he asks you if he's your first tell him, "You may be, you look familiar."
关于长篇英语笑话：Blonde Friend
A blonde goes on "Who wants to be a Millionaire."
学习啦在线学习网 Regis: "Barbara, you've done very well so far - 0,000 and one lifeline left -- phone a friend.
学习啦在线学习网 The next question will give you the top prize of One Million dollars if you get it right ... but if you get it wrong you will drop back to ,000 -- are you ready?"
Barbara: "Sure, I'll have a go!"
Regis: "Which of the following birds does not build it's own nest?
学习啦在线学习网 Is it........
A-Robin
学习啦在线学习网 B-Sparrow
学习啦在线学习网 C-Cuckoo
D-Thrush
Remember Barbara its worth 1 Million dollars."
"I think I know who it..but I'm not 100%...
学习啦在线学习网 No, I haven't got a clue. I'd like to phone a friend Regis, just to be sure.
Regis: "Yes, who, Barbara, do you want to phone?
Barbara: "I'll phone my friend Maggie back home in Birmingham."
(ringing)
学习啦在线学习网 Maggie (also a blonde): "Hello..."
Regis: "Hello Maggie, its Regis here from Who Wants to be a Millionaire-I have Barbara here and she is doing really well on 0,000, but needs your help to be a Million.
学习啦在线学习网 The next voice you hear will be Barbara's and she'll read you the question.
There are 4 possible answers and 1 correct answer and you have 30 seconds to answer -- fire away Barbara."
Barbara: "Maggie, which of the following birds does not build it's own nest? Is it:
A-Robin
B-Sparrow
C-Cuckoo
D-Thrush"
Maggie: "Oh Gees, Barbara that's simple.....It's a Cuckoo."
学习啦在线学习网 Barbara: "You think?"
学习啦在线学习网 Maggie: "I'm sure."
Barbara: " Thanks Maggie." (hangs up)
Regis: "Well, do you want to stick on 0,000 or play on for the Million, Barbara?"
学习啦在线学习网 Barbara: "I want to play, I'll go with C-Cuckoo"
Regis: "Is that your final answer?"
Barbara: "It is."
学习啦在线学习网 Regis: "Are you confident?"
Barbara: "Yes fairly, Maggie's a sound bet."
学习啦在线学习网 Regis: "Barbara.....you had 0,000 and you said C-Cuckoo ...you're right! - You have just won ONE MILLION DOLLARS.
学习啦在线学习网 Here is your check. You have been a great contestant and a real gambler. Audience please put your hands together for Barbara."
学习啦在线学习网 (clapping)
That night Barbara calls round to Maggie and brings her down to a local bar for a celebration drink and, as they are sipping their Champagne, Barbara turns to Maggie and asks "Tell me Maggie, How in God's name did you know that it was the Cuckoo that does not build its own nest?
Maggie: "Listen Barbara, everybody knows that a Cuckoo lives in a clock."
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