爆笑的英语笑话小故事
爆笑的英语笑话小故事
学习啦在线学习网 做事情要灵活,不能死搬教条,不然就会闹出“郑人买履”那样的笑话。本文是爆笑的英语笑话小故事，希望对大家有帮助!
爆笑的英语笑话小故事：Hello Mother, Hello Father
学习啦在线学习网 A child custody case was held in court. The judge felt that the mother and father were both fit to be parents and therefore couldn't decide who he should grant full custody to.
So he asks the little boy, "Would you like to live with your mother?"
"No." said the boy.
学习啦在线学习网 "Why not?" said the judge.
学习啦在线学习网 "Because she beats me."
学习啦在线学习网 The judge says "Okay, then you'll go live with your father."
"Oh no," cried the boy, "he beats me too."
学习啦在线学习网 Dumbfounded, the judge asks "Okay who do you want to live with?"
"I want to live with the New York Knicks!"
"Why?" asks the judge.
学习啦在线学习网 "They never beat anybody."
爆笑的英语笑话小故事：The boy and the snails
男孩和蜗牛
学习啦在线学习网 A farmer's boy went looking for snails, and, when he had picked up both his hands full, he set about making a fire at which to roast them; for he meant to eat them. When it got well alight and the snails began to feel the heat, they gradually withdrew more and more into their shells with the hissing noise they always make when they do so. When the boy heard it, he said, "You abandoned creatures, how can you find heart to whistle when your houses are burning?"
学习啦在线学习网 一个乡下少年到处寻找蜗牛，当他双手都塞满了蜗牛后，就准备点火烤着吃。火点着了，蜗牛也开始感觉到热了，他们纷纷退向坚壳的深处，同时还发出“咝咝”的噪音。男孩子听到了蜗牛发出的嘘声，便说：“你们这些连命都快没有的家伙，怎么还能有心情在窝里着火时吹口哨呢?”
爆笑的英语笑话小故事：Cat jokes
Q: What looks like half a cat?
学习啦在线学习网 A: The other half!
Q: What was the name of the film about a killer lion that swam underwater?
A: 'Claws.'
Q: If a four-legged animal is a quadruped and a two-legged animal is a biped, What's a tiger?
A: A stri-ped!
学习啦在线学习网 Q: What do you get if you cross a tiger with a sheep?
A: A stripey sweater!
学习啦在线学习网 Q: How does a lion greet the other animals in the field?
学习啦在线学习网 A: 'Pleased to eat you.'!
学习啦在线学习网 Q: What do you get if you cross a tiger with a snowman?
A: Frostbite!
学习啦在线学习网 Q: What did the lions say to his cubs when he taught them to hunt?
A: 'Don't go over the road till you see the zebra crossing.'
学习啦在线学习网 Q: What is lion's favorite food?
A: Baked beings!
爆笑的英语笑话小故事：Mouse jokes
How do you save a drowning mouse?
Use mouse to mouse resuscitation!
学习啦在线学习网 Where do hamsters come from?
学习啦在线学习网 Hamsterdam!
What's a mouse's least favorite record?
What's up Pussycat!
学习啦在线学习网 Why do mice need oiling?
Because they squeak!
What do rodents say when they play bingo?
'Eyes down for a full mouse'!
What does a twelve-pound mouse say to a cat?
'Here Kitty, kitty, kitty'!
学习啦在线学习网 What kind of musical instrument do mice play?
A mouse organ!
Why do mice have long tails?
学习啦在线学习网 Well, they'd look silly with long hair!
What did the mouse say when his friend broke his front teeth?
学习啦在线学习网 Hard cheese!
学习啦在线学习网 What is a mouse's favorite game?
学习啦在线学习网 Hide and squeak!
爆笑的英语笑话小故事：Potty training
学习啦在线学习网 A young couple was expecting a visit from the pastor of their church.
学习啦在线学习网 They wanted everything to go smoothly, but their two year old son was just getting the hang of potty training.
学习啦在线学习网 He was at the stage where he would announce at the top of his voice, "I gotta pee," when he had to go to the bathroom.
His father, worried that this might be embarrassing when the minister came to call, instructed the child, "Don't shout that you've got to pee. Whisper!"
That evening the pastor makes his visit. He's there a very long time while the parents are in the kitchen preparing the meal. The two year old is leaning on one foot and the other.
Finally, the minister asks him, "What's the matter, son?"
The child looks at him and says, "I've gotta whisper!"
学习啦在线学习网 The pastor says, "It's all right, child. Whisper in my ear."
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