长一点的英语笑话欣赏
长一点的英语笑话欣赏
冷笑话就是其实一点都不好笑的笑话，非常无聊的笑话，但是可以达到精神上放松的目的，因为这种笑话理解起来不动脑筋。小编精心收集了长一点的英语笑话，供大家欣赏学习!
长一点的英语笑话：Changes In Hell
学习啦在线学习网 An engineer died and was mistakenly sent to hell. Fairly quickly, he had redesigned the place. Hell cooled down considerably thanks to the air conditioning he built and installed. The escalators and elevators worked just fine. Manual labor was quickly becoming a thing of the past.
God looked down one day and noticed all the changes. He called down to the devil to ask how these improvements came about.
学习啦在线学习网 The devil replied, "That engineer you sent me."
"What engineer? You're not supposed to have an engineer. Send him back up here!"
The devil's answer was simple... "No."
学习啦在线学习网 "If you don't send that engineer back right now, I'm going to be very angry. In fact, I'll sue you!"
学习啦在线学习网 The devil replies, "And . . . where are you going to get a lawyer?"
长一点的英语笑话：Even Pigs Have Standards
A lawyer and two friends, a Rabbi and a Hindu holy man, had car trouble in the countryside and asked to spend the night with a farmer.
学习啦在线学习网 The farmer said "There might be a problem; you see, I only have room for two to sleep, so one of you must sleep in the barn."
学习啦在线学习网 "No problem," chimed the Rabbi, "My people wandered in the desert for forty years, I amhumble enough to sleep in the barn for an evening."
学习啦在线学习网 With that he departed to the barn and the others bedded down for the night.
Moments later a knock was heard at the door; the farmer opened the door. There stood the Rabbi from the barn.
"What's wrong?" asked the farmer.
He replied, "I am grateful to you, but I can't sleep in the barn. There is a pig in the barn and my faith believes that is an unclean animal."
学习啦在线学习网 His Hindu friend agrees to swap places with him. But a few minutes later the same scene reoccurs. There is a knock on the door.
"What's wrong, now?" the farmer asks.
学习啦在线学习网 The Hindu holy man replies, "I too am grateful for your helping us out but there is a cow in the barn and in my country cows are considered sacred. I can't sleep on holy ground!"
学习啦在线学习网 Well, that leaves only the lawyer to make the change. He grumbled and complained, but went out to the barn.
学习啦在线学习网 Moments later there was another knock on the farmers door.
学习啦在线学习网 Frustrated and tired, the farmer opens the door, and there stood...
学习啦在线学习网 The pig and the cow.
长一点的英语笑话：Men Unite
How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
学习啦在线学习网 Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will never Be able to support you.
Why do women have smaller feet than men? So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.
How do you know when a woman's about to say something smart? When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."
How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't. There's a clock on the oven!
Why do men pass gas more than women do? Because women won't shut up long enough to build up pressure.
学习啦在线学习网 If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, which do you let in first? The dog of course...at least he'll shut up after you let him in.
学习啦在线学习网 All wives are alike, but they have different faces so you can tell them apart.
学习啦在线学习网 What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig? A woman that won't do what she's told.
学习啦在线学习网 What do you call a woman with two brain cells? Pregnant.
学习啦在线学习网 I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was always.
I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months - I don't like to interrupt her.
学习啦在线学习网 What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence? Divorced.
学习啦在线学习网 Bigamy is having one wife too many. Some say monogamy is the same.
Scientists have discovered one certain food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%...wedding cake
看了“长一点的英语笑话”的人还看了：