英语小笑话
学习啦在线学习网 笑话(анекдот)是民族文化不可或缺的一部分。透过笑话我们可以看到一个民族的生存环境、生活方式、社会关系和心理特征等等。下面是学习啦小编带来的短一点爆笑英语笑话，欢迎欣赏!
短一点爆笑英语笑话篇1
学习啦在线学习网 My friend and I were busy mending fences when my house-keeper arrived. Several times during the day, she drove out, returning 45 minutes later. Feeling curious, my friend asked her:
学习啦在线学习网 "Where do you keep going?"
"Some darn birds built a nest in my car bumper!" she exclaimed. "Every two hours I have to go home because the parents are waiting go feed their young. I wish they'd hurry up and raise those kids."
我和我的朋友正在忙着修篱笆，这时候，我的管家也来了。在这一天中，她开车出去了好几次，每次都是四十分钟后回来，我的朋友感到很奇怪，于是问她：
学习啦在线学习网 “你总出去干什么?”
学习啦在线学习网 “一些该死的鸟在我的汽车保险杠上出了筑一个巢，”她说，“我必须每隔两小时回一趟家，不然那些大鸟就会等在那里喂它的小鸟，我真希望它们快点把她们的孩子喂大。”
短一点爆笑英语笑话篇2
学习啦在线学习网 A commuter sitting on a subway train reading a paper back was so sprawled out in the seat that the woman next to him had very little room. When she asked if he could move a bit, he refused.
学习啦在线学习网 Just then, a man opposite them yelled, "Why don't you sit like a human being!"
学习啦在线学习网 "What are you going to do if I don't?" came the reply.
"Well, for one thing, I'll tell you how that book ends."
一位跑地铁通勤的家伙四肢伸展地坐在座位上看着一本平装小说。他旁边的女士被挤的实在难忍，便要求稍微挪动一下，却遭到了他的拒绝。
这时，坐在对面的一位先生喊道：“你为什么不能像人一样坐着呢?”
“我就是不愿意，看你能把我怎么样?”
那个人回答说：“那好，只有一个办法了，我会告诉你这本书是怎样结的尾。”
短一点爆笑英语笑话篇3
Working at a theater box-office ticket window poses many challenges in dealing with people.
学习啦在线学习网 A disgruntled customer at a window near mine exclaimed: "No tickets? What do you mean no tickets?"
The woman waiting on him smiled sweetly. "I'm terribly sorry," she replied. "Which word didn't you understand?"
学习啦在线学习网 在戏院售票窗口售票时常与这种人打交道，从而会出现很多新鲜事儿。
一次，我隔壁售票口传来了顾客的抱怨声：“没有票啦?你说的没票了是什么意思?”
学习啦在线学习网 那位女服务员笑容可掬地回答说：先生，实在对不起您，哪个字不明白?”
短一点爆笑英语笑话篇4
学习啦在线学习网 A young man came home and said, "Dad, I just got my driver's license and would like to use the family car."
Father replied, "Ok, son, But, first, you have to get good grades in school, keep your room clean, make the yard neat, and cut your hair. Come back in a few months and then we'll see."
Well, several months passed and the young man came into the house with his report card in his hand, "Dad, I got great marks on my report card, I've been keeping my room as neat as apin, and the yard is always ship-shape. How about letting me use the car?"
学习啦在线学习网 Father replied, "That's all true, but son, you didn't cut your hair."
学习啦在线学习网 Son said, "But, dad, Jesus had long hair too."
学习啦在线学习网 Father replied, "Yes, son, you're perfectly right, And he walks everywhere he goes."
学习啦在线学习网 一个小伙子回到家跟爸爸说：“爸爸，我拿驾照了，我想开车。”
爸爸答道：“好的，儿子。但是，你要拿到好成绩，要把房间给收拾整齐，要把院子打扫干净，还要把头发给理了。这几个月做好了我们再谈开车的事。”
几个月后，小伙子拿到成绩单回到家，“爸爸，我每门功课都得了优，房间整整齐齐，院子干干净净。我能开车了吗?”
爸爸回答：“确实做得很好，但是儿子，你还没有理发呢。”
儿子说：“但是，爸爸，耶稣的头发也很长啊。”
爸爸回答：“是的，儿子，完全正确。但是耶稣去哪都是走着去的呀!”
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