爆笑死人英语笑话大全
爆笑死人英语笑话大全
在民间文学的各种体裁中 ,民间笑话的材料很多 ,也是时下最为流行的民间叙事类型。小编精心收集了爆笑死人英语笑话，供大家欣赏学习!
爆笑死人英语笑话篇1
学习啦在线学习网 Satan Himself
One bright, beautiful Sunday morning, everyone in the tiny town of Johnstown got up early and went to the local church. Before the services started, the townspeople were sitting in their pews and talking about their lives, their families, etc.
Suddenly, the Devil himself appeared at the front of the congregation. Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate.
学习啦在线学习网 Soon everyone was evacuated from the Church, except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew, not moving, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence. Now this confused Satan a bit, so he walked up to the man and said, "Don't you know who I am?"
学习啦在线学习网 The man replied, "Yep, sure do."
Satan asked, "Aren't you afraid of me?"
学习啦在线学习网 "Nope, sure ain't," said the man.
学习啦在线学习网 Satan was a little perturbed at this and queried, "Why aren't you afraid of me?"
学习啦在线学习网 The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for over 48 years."
爆笑死人英语笑话篇2
Letter from God
One day God was looking down to earth and saw all the evil going on. He decided to send an angel down to earth to check it out. So, he called on a female angel and sent her to earth for a time. When she returned she told God yes, it is bad on earth, 95% is bad and 5% is good.
学习啦在线学习网 Well, He thought for a moment and said maybe I had better send down a male angel, to get both points of view. So, God called a male angel and sent him to earth for a time. When the male angel returned, he went to God and told him yes, the earth was in decline, 95% was bad and 5% was good.
学习啦在线学习网 God said this was not good. He would send a letter to the 5% that was good and encourage them, something to help them keep going. Do you know what that letter said?
Oh, you didn't get one either?
爆笑死人英语笑话篇3
学习啦在线学习网 Pray for me
One Sunday in a Midwest city a young child was "acting up" during the morning worship hour. The parents did their best to maintain some sense of order in the pew but were losing the battle. Finally the father picked the little fellow up and walked sternly up the aisle on his way out.
学习啦在线学习网 Just before leaving the safety of the foyer the little one called loudly to the congregation, "Pray for me! Pray for me!"
爆笑死人英语笑话篇4
学习啦在线学习网 Last Rites
The priest was preparing a man for his long day's journey into night.
学习啦在线学习网 Whispering firmly, the priest said, "Denounce the devil! Let him know how little you think of his evil!"
The dying man said nothing so the priest repeated his order.
Still the dying man said nothing.
The priest asked, "Why do you refuse to denounce the devil and his evil?"
The dying man said, "Until I know where I'm heading, I don't think I ought to aggravateanybody."
爆笑死人英语笑话篇5
Office prayer
学习啦在线学习网 Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. The courage to change the things I cannot accept, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people I had to kill today because they pissed me off. Also, help me to be careful of the toes I step on today, as they may be connected to the ass that I may have to kiss tomorrow.
AMEN!
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