演讲用的英语笑话大全
笑话,不同文化背景的人的反应有时是不同的,甚至会截然相反。究其原因,是说话双方没有真正理解对方的文化。笑话是各国文化的精髓,反映各国的风俗习惯。学习啦小编分享演讲用的英语笑话，希望可以帮助大家!
演讲用的英语笑话：What's your religion?
学习啦在线学习网 I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. I immediately ran over and said "Stop! Don't do it!"
"Why shouldn't I?" he said.
I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!"
"Like what?"
"Well ... are you religious or atheist?"
"Religious."
"Me too! Are you Christian or Jewish?"
学习啦在线学习网 "Christian."
"Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?"
学习啦在线学习网 "Protestant."
"Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?"
"Baptist."
"Wow! Me too! Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?"
"Baptist Church of God."
学习啦在线学习网 "Me too! Are you Original Baptist Church of God, or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?"
学习啦在线学习网 "Reformed Baptist Church of God."
"Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915?"
"Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915!"
To which I said, "Die, heretic scum!" and pushed him off.
演讲用的英语笑话：Bloopers of children
学习啦在线学习网 Some bloopers of biblical proportions written by Sunday School students of both the Christian and Jewishpersuasion:
In the first book of the bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating the world, so he took the Sabbath off.
Adam & Eve were created from an apple tree.
Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark.
Noah built the ark, which the animals came on in pears.
学习啦在线学习网 Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night.
学习啦在线学习网 The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with unsympathetic Genitals.
Sampson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a jezebel like Delilah.
Sampson slated the Philistines with the axe of apostles.
Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients.
学习啦在线学习网 The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert.
Afterward, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the Ten Amendments.
学习啦在线学习网 The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.
学习啦在线学习网 The Fifth Commandment is humor thy mother and father.
学习啦在线学习网 The Seventh Commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.
学习啦在线学习网 Moses died before he ever reached the UK. Then, Joshua led the Hebrews in the Battle of Geritol.
The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him.
David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. He fought with the Finkelsteins, a race of people who lived in the biblical times.
Solomon, one of David's sons, has 300 wives and 700 porcupines.
学习啦在线学习网 When Mary heard that she was the Mother of Jesus, she sang the Magna Carta.
When the three wise guys from the East Side arrived, they found Jesus and the manager.
Jesus was born because Mary had an emaculate contraption.
学习啦在线学习网 St. John, the Blacksmith, dumped water on his head.
学习啦在线学习网 Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do one to others before they do one to you.
学习啦在线学习网 He also explained, "Man doth not live by sweat alone."
The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 decibels.
学习啦在线学习网 The epistles were the wives of the apostles.
One of the opossums was St. Matthew, who was by profession a taximan.
学习啦在线学习网 St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy acrimony, which is another name for marriage.
A Christian should have only one wife. This is called monotony.
演讲用的英语笑话：A sermon about lying
A minister told his congregation, "Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17." The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon, the minister asked for a show of hands. He wanted to know how many had read Mark 17. Every hand went up. The minister smiled and said, "Mark has only sixteen chapters. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying."
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