学习啦在线学习网 　　冷笑话是一种新兴的语言现象,伴随着网络的普及它已经渗透到了青年群体的日常生活,偶尔爆出的一两句冷笑话能使交流氛围变得轻松愉悦,也能展示交谈者的幽默和智慧。本文是有关于英语笑话演讲短文，希望对大家有帮助!

　　有关于英语笑话演讲短文：Pussy And Bitch

　　A kid comes home from school and says to his mom, "Mom I've got a problem."

　　She says "Tell me." He tells her that the boys at school are using 2 words he doesn't understand. She asks him what they are.

　　He says "well, pussy and bitch".

　　She says "Oh That's no big deal, pussy is a cat like our little Mittens, and bitch is a female dog like our Sandy."

　　He thanks her and goes to visit dad in the workshop in the basement. He says to his dad, "Dad the boys at school are using words I don't know, and I asked mom and I don't think she told me the exact meaning.

学习啦在线学习网 　　Dad says "Son, I told you never to go to mom with these matters, she cant handle them. What are the words?"

学习啦在线学习网 　　He tells him...pussy and bitch.

学习啦在线学习网 　　Dad says "OK" and pulls a Playboy down from the shelf, takes a marker and circles the pubic area of the centerfold and says, "son, everything inside this circle, is pussy."

　　"OK dad, so what's a bitch?"

学习啦在线学习网 　　"Son" he says, "everything outside that circle."

　　有关于英语笑话演讲短文：True Football Fan

学习啦在线学习网 　　Recently, I was at a professional football game supporting my favorite team. My seat wasn't the greatest, so when i noticed a vacant seat on the fifty yard line 10 rows up, I headed towards it. I asked the man sitting next to it if the seat was taken. He replied, "No".

学习啦在线学习网 　　I started talking to the man and I learned he owned the seat I was in. He said, "My wife use to love to come to these games until she died."

学习啦在线学习网 　　"Why didn't you give this seat away to a friend?" I asked.

　　He replied, "Because they are all at her funeral."

　　有关于英语笑话演讲短文：A Lawyer's Priorities

　　Two lawyers were walking down Rodeo Drive, and saw a beatiful model walking towards them. "What a babe," one said, "I'd sure like to fuck her!"

学习啦在线学习网 　　"Really?" the other responded, "Out of what?"

　　有关于英语笑话演讲短文：Visiting the Mall

　　An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again. The boy asked his father, "What is this, Father?" The father [never having seen an elevator] responded "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is."

　　While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of lights with numbers above the walls light up. They continued to watch the circles light up in the reversedirection.

　　有关于英语笑话演讲短文：Ounces Of Brain For Sale

　　A man went to a brain store to get some brain to complete a study. He sees a sign remarking on the quality of professional brain offerred at this particular brain store. He begins to question the butcher about the cost of these brains.

学习啦在线学习网 　　"How much does it cost for engineer brain?"

学习啦在线学习网 　　"Three dollars an ounce."

学习啦在线学习网 　　"How much does it cost for programmer brain?"

　　"Four dollars an ounce."

　　"How much for lawyer brain?"

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