关于简单幽默英语笑话大全
关于简单幽默英语笑话大全
学习啦在线学习网 民间笑话是一种颇受人们喜爱的民间叙事类型,材料丰富,有广泛的现实基础。本文是关于简单幽默英语笑话，希望对大家有帮助!
关于简单幽默英语笑话：Don't Be Ridiculous
After weeks of getting the cold shoulder from his wife, an unhappy husband finallyconfronted her.
学习啦在线学习网 "Admit it, Linda," he said, "The only reason you married me is because my grandfather left me million."
"Don't be ridiculous!" she shot back. "I don't care who left it to you."
关于简单幽默英语笑话：A Penis And What???
学习啦在线学习网 A woman gives birth to a baby, and afterwards, the doctor comes in, and he says, "I have to tell you something about your baby."
学习啦在线学习网 The woman sits up in bed and says, "What's wrong with my baby, Doctor? What's wrong??"
学习啦在线学习网 The doctor says, "Well, now, nothing's wrong, exactly, but your baby is a little bit different. Your baby is a hermaphrodite."
学习啦在线学习网 The woman says, "A hermaphrodite.... what's that???"
The doctor says, "Well, it means your baby has the... er... features...of a male and afemale."
The woman turns pale. She says, "Oh my god! You mean it has a penis AND a brain?"
关于简单幽默英语笑话：Risky Proposition
A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after-work cocktail with her girlfriends when an exceptionally tall, handsome, extremely sexy, young man entered. He was so striking that the woman could not take her eyes away from him.
The young man noticed her overly attentive stare and walked directly toward them. Before she could offer her apologies for being so rude for staring, the young man said to her, "I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for 0, on one condition."
学习啦在线学习网 Flabbergasted, the woman asked what the condition was. The young man replied, "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words."
学习啦在线学习网 The woman considered his proposition for a moment, withdrew from her purse and slowly counted out five bills, which she gladly pressed into the young man's hand.
学习啦在线学习网 She looked deeply into his eyes and slowly and meaningfully said... "Clean my house."
关于简单幽默英语笑话：Watch What You Ask For
学习啦在线学习网 Cinderella was now 75 years old. After a fulfilling life with the now dead Prince, she happily sat upon her rocking chair, watching the world go by from her front porch, with a cat called Alan for companionship.
One sunny afternoon, out of nowhere, appeared the Fairy Godmother. Cinderella said "Fairy Godmother, what are you doing here after all these years?"
The Fairy Godmother replied, "Well, Cinderella, since you have lived a good, wholesomelife since we last met, I have decided to grant you three wishes. Is there anything for which your heart still yearns?"
Cinderella is overjoyed, and after some thoughtful consideration and almost under her breath she uttered her first wish:
"I wish I was wealthy beyond comprehension."
Instantly, her rocking chair was turned into solid gold.
学习啦在线学习网 Cinderella was stunned. Alan, her old faithful cat, jumped off her lap and scamperedto the edge of the porch, quivering with fear.
Cinderella said, "Oh thank you, Fairy Godmother!"
The Fairy Godmother replied, "It's the least I can do. What does your heart wish for your second wish?"
Cinderella looked down at her frail body, and said, "I wish I were young and full of the beauty of youth again."
At once, her wish became reality, and her beautiful youthful visage returned.
Cinderella felt stirrings inside her that had been dormant for years and long forgottenvigor and vitality began to course through her very soul.
学习啦在线学习网 Then the Fairy Godmother again spoke. "You have one more wish, what will you have?" Cinderella looked over to the frightened cat in the corner and said, "I wish you to transform Alan my old cat into a beautiful, and handsome young man."
学习啦在线学习网 Magically, Alan suddenly underwent so fundamental a change in his biological make-up, that when complete he stood before her, a boy, so beautiful the like of which she nor the world had ever seen, so fair indeed that birds begun to fall from the sky at his feet.
学习啦在线学习网 The Fairy Godmother again spoke. "Congratulations, Cinderella. Enjoy your new life." And, with a blazing shock of bright blue electricity, she was gone.
学习啦在线学习网 For a few eerie moments, Alan and Cinderella looked into each other's eyes. Cinderella sat, breathless, gazing at the most stunningly perfect boy she had ever seen.
Then Alan walked over to Cinderella, who sat transfixed in her rocking chair, and held her close in his young muscular arms.
He leaned in close to her ear, whispered, blowing her golden hair with his warm breath, "I bet you regret having me neutered now, don't you?
关于简单幽默英语笑话：Gas Problem
A little old lady goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor I have this problem with gas, but it really doesn't bother me too much because they never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I've farted at least 20 times since I've been here in your office."
学习啦在线学习网 The doctor says, "I see, take these pills and come back to see me next week.
学习啦在线学习网 The next week the lady goes back to his office. "Doctor," she says, "I don't know what you gave me, but now my farts, although still silent, stink terribly!"
学习啦在线学习网 The doctor says, "Good, Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's work on your hearing."
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