有关经典英文小笑话阅读
民间笑话故事像神话小说等民间文学一样，是广大劳动人民在长期的生产劳动和与自然界作斗争的过程中，以口头形式创作和传承的文学体裁。小编精心收集了有关经典英文小笑话，供大家欣赏学习!
有关经典英文小笑话：Women's Bumper-Stickers
SO MANY MEN, SO FEW WHO CAN AFFORD ME.
GOD MADE US SISTERS; PROZAC MADE US FRIENDS.
IF THEY DON'T HAVE CHOCOLATE IN HEAVEN, I AIN'T GOING.
学习啦在线学习网 MY MOTHER IS A TRAVEL AGENT FOR GUILT TRIPS.
PRINCESS, HAVING HAD SUFFICIENT EXPERIENCE WITH PRINCES,
学习啦在线学习网 SEEKS FROG.
COFFEE, CHOCOLATE, MEN...SOME THINGS ARE JUST BETTER RICH.
学习啦在线学习网 DON'T TREAT ME ANY DIFFERENTLY THAN YOU WOULD THE QUEEN.
学习啦在线学习网 IF YOU WANT BREAKFAST IN BED, SLEEP IN THE KITCHEN.
学习啦在线学习网 DINNER IS READY WHEN THE SMOKE ALARM GOES OFF.
学习啦在线学习网 I'M OUT OF ESTROGEN-AND I HAVE A GUN.
学习啦在线学习网 GUYS HAVE FEELINGS TOO, BUT LIKE...WHO CARES?
学习啦在线学习网 NEXT MOOD SWING: 6 MINUTES.
WARNING: I HAVE AN ATTITUDE AND I KNOW HOW TO USE IT.
学习啦在线学习网 OF COURSE I DON'T LOOK BUSY...I DID IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME.
YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT, SO PLEASE SHUT UP.
ALL STRESSED OUT AND NO ONE TO CHOKE.
I'M ONE OF THOSE BAD THINGS THAT HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE.
HOW CAN I MISS YOU IF YOU WON'T GO AWAY?
学习啦在线学习网 SORRY IF I LOOKED INTERESTED. I'M NOT.
学习啦在线学习网 IF WE ARE WHAT WE EAT, I'M FAST, CHEAP AND EASY.
DON'T UPSET ME! I'M RUNNING OUT OF PLACES TO HIDE THE BODIES.
有关经典英文小笑话：Labor Pills
学习啦在线学习网 Once a woman was in labor; she was having a really tough time dealing with the pain. The doctor came to her husband and her and told them of a new experimental drug that allows the woman to transfer 25% of the pain to the father. The husband feels really bad for his wife so he decides they will try it.
学习啦在线学习网 The wife takes the pill and a few minutes later the husband says, "I don't feel a thing. You women are babies. Take another pill I can handle this." So the wife takes another pill. Same thing happens. Her husband tells her to take another pill. Same thing. By now she has transferred 75% of her pain to her husband. She is feeling a little pain but her husband is still feeling nothing. He is convinced that women are complete wuses. He tells her, "Take another pill. This isn't hurting me at all. Let me take all the pain away." So she does. Now they are both feeling great.
学习啦在线学习网 A few hours later, the wife gives birth to a beautiful baby boy. The next day they take their newborn son home, and there they find the mailman dead on the doorstep.
有关经典英文小笑话：Fishing Experience
学习啦在线学习网 A couple went on vacation to a resort up north. The husband liked to fish, and the wife liked to read. One morning the husband came back from fishing after getting up really early that morning and took a nap. While he slept, the wife decided to take the boat out.
She was not familiar with the lake, so she rowed out and anchored the boat, and started reading her book. Along comes the Game Warden in his boat, pulls up alongside the woman's boat and asks her what she's doing?
She says, "Reading my book." The Game Warden tells her she is in a restricted fishing area and she explains that she's not fishing.
学习啦在线学习网 To which he replied, "But you have all this equipment. I will have to take you in and write you up!"
学习啦在线学习网 Angry that the warden was being so unreasonable, the lady told the warden, "If you do that, I will charge you with rape."
学习啦在线学习网 The warden, shocked by her statement, replied, "But I didn't even touch you."
学习啦在线学习网 To which the lady replied, "Yeah, but you have all the equipment!"
有关经典英文小笑话：Medical Orders
A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office.
学习啦在线学习网 After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe stress disorder. If you don't do the following, your husband will surely die."
学习啦在线学习网 "Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant at all times. For lunch make him anutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him. Don't burden him with chores. Don't discuss your problems with him, it will only make his stress worse. No nagging. And most importantly, make love with your husband several times a week. If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely."
On the way home, the husband asked his wife. "What did the doctor say?"
"He said you're going to die," she replied.
有关经典英文小笑话：Mortician In Shock
A mortician was working late one night. It was his job to examine the dead bodies before they were sent off to be buried or cremated.
As he examined the body of Bernie Schwartz, who was about to be cremated, he made an amazing discovery:
Bernie Schwartz had the longest penis he had ever seen!
学习啦在线学习网 "I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz," said the mortician, "But I can't send you off to be cremated with a tremendously huge penis like this. It has to be saved for posterity."
学习啦在线学习网 And with that the coroner used his tools to remove the dead man's schlong.
学习啦在线学习网 The coroner stuffed his prize into a briefcase and took it home.
The first person he showed was his wife.
学习啦在线学习网 "I have something to show you that you won't believe," he said, and opened his briefcase.
学习啦在线学习网 "Oh my god!" she screamed, "Bernie Schwartz is dead!"
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有关经典英文小笑话阅读
