小学四年级英语笑话精选
民间英语笑话是一种颇受人们喜爱的民间叙事类型,材料丰富,大多数都来自现实生活中。学习啦小编分享小学四年级英语笑话,希望可以帮助大家!
小学四年级英语笑话:a holiday from school
Tommy hated school and was always looking for excuses not to go.
If he sneezed, he asked his mother to write a note saying he had a cold.
学习啦在线学习网 If he had a headache, he asked his mother to take him to the doctor during school hours.
学习啦在线学习网 He spent more time at home than he did at school.
On the days that he did go to school, he looked for excuses to come home early.
学习啦在线学习网 One morning he came home when the lessons were only half finished.
学习啦在线学习网 His father was surprised.
"You've come home early," he said. "Is the school closed today?"
"No, Dad, " Tommy said - "It's open. I came home early.
"How did you do that?" his father asked him. "What did you say to the teacher?"
学习啦在线学习网 "I told her that I had a new baby brother and that I had to come home and help you . "
"But your mother has had twins," his father said, "a boy and a girl. You've got a baby brother and a baby sister."
"Yes, I know, Dad, " Tommy said. "I'm saving up my baby sister for next week "
小学四年级英语笑话:Fred Is Gone
A bill collector knocked on the door of a country debtor. "Is Fred home?" he asked the woman who answered the door. "Sorry," the woman replied. "Fred's gone for cotton."
The next day the collector tried again. "Is Fred here today?" "No, sir," she said, "I'm afraid Fred has gone for cotton."
学习啦在线学习网 When he returned the third day he humphed, "I suppose Fred is gone for cotton again,?" "No," the woman answered solemnly, "Fred died yesterday."
Suspicious that he was being avoided, the collector decided to wait a week and investigate the cemetery himself. But sure enough, there was poor Fred's tombstone, with this inscription: "Gone, But Not for Cotton."
小学四年级英语笑话:Reward Results
A preacher dies, and when he gets to Heaven, he sees a New York cab driver who has a higher place.
学习啦在线学习网 He says to Saint Peter, "I don't get it. I devoted my whole life to my congregation."
学习啦在线学习网 Saint Peter says, "We reward results. Did your congregation always pay attention when you gave a sermon?"
小学四年级英语笑话:Farther And Farther
A man who was unemployed for several months gets a job with Public Works. He was to paint lines down the center of a rural road. The supervisor told him he is on probation and that he must stay at or above the set average of 2 miles per day to remain employed. The man agreed to the conditions and starts the next day.
The supervisor checked and found that the man completed 4 miles on his first day. "Great," he thought, "this man will really work out."
学习啦在线学习网 The next day he learned that the man only accomplished 2 miles but the supervisor thought, "Well he is still at the average and I don't want him to get discouraged."
The third day however the man only did one mile and the boss thought, "I need to talk to him."
The boss pulled the new employee in and says, "Son, you were doing great. The first day you did 4 miles, the second day 2 miles, but yesterday you only did one mile. Why? Is there a problem? An injury, equipment failure, anything keeping you from meeting the 2 mile minimum?"
The man replied "Well, each day I keep getting farther and farther from the bucket."
小学四年级英语笑话:Prison Or Work
When you think about the differences between work and prison, maybe prison isn't so bad...
IN PRISON.......You spend the majority of your time in an 8x10 cell.
AT WORK........You spend most of your time in a 6x8 cubicle.
学习啦在线学习网 IN PRISON.......You get three meals a day.
学习啦在线学习网 AT WORK........You get a break for 1 meal and you have to pay for it.
IN PRISON.......You get time off for good behaviour.
AT WORK........You get rewarded for good behaviour with more work.
IN PRISON.......A guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
学习啦在线学习网 AT WORK........You must carry around a security card and unlock and open all the doors yourself.
IN PRISON........You can watch TV and play games.
AT WORK.........You get fired for watching TV and playing games.
学习啦在线学习网 IN PRISON.......You get your own toilet.
学习啦在线学习网 AT WORK........You have to share.
IN PRISON.......They allow your family and friends to visit.
学习啦在线学习网 AT WORK........You cannot even speak to your family and friends.
IN PRISON.......All expenses are paid by taxpayers with no work required.
学习啦在线学习网 AT WORK........You get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from you salary to pay for prisoners.
学习啦在线学习网 IN PRISON.......You spend most of your life looking through bars from inside wanting to get out.
AT WORK........You spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars.
学习啦在线学习网 IN PRISON......There are wardens who are often sadistic.
AT WORK.......They are called supervisors.
IN PRISON.......You have unlimited time to read e-mail jokes.
学习啦在线学习网 AT WORK........You get fired if you get caught.
NOW GET BACK TO WORK!
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