拯救低分段--6分段雅思作文范文详细点评
总有些学生雅思写作一直无法突破6分,这到底是为什么呢?本文为大家带来一篇6分作文,详细分析一下得6分的原因,希望大家都能吸取经验,总结教训,最后都能突破6分。
拯救低分段--6分段雅思作文范文详细点评
题目:
学习啦在线学习网Some people say job satisfaction is more important than job security, while others believe that having a permanent job is better than enjoying the job. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
学习啦在线学习网You should write at least 250 words.
解析:
本题问到底该选择什么工作,到底是自己感兴趣的工作重要,还是稳定的工作重要?与其他很多话题一样,这里的讨论可以复杂,也可以简单;可以深刻化,也可以生活化。比如,有人认为,应该选择自己感兴趣的工作,因为这样才能实现人生的价值,从工作中寻找到成就感和满足感;而选择稳定的工作则可以有助于社会的稳定,有助于家庭的和睦。老雅本次想为低分段同学提供一个范文,看6分段作文究竟可以把一个话题简单化到什么程度。
老雅一贯的观点是:对于6分段作文,思想是其次的,清晰是最重要的。如何做到清晰表达?最关键的是要想得简单,想得直接,想得具体;杜绝深刻,杜绝兜圈,杜绝抽象。对于低分段同学来说,这种写作策略明显更容易实现自己的6分梦想。
学习啦在线学习网唐老雅6分范文(低分段同学必须模仿!)
Everybody has to work. The question is: which is more important in work, the job security or the job satisfaction? Some people think the job security is more important than job satisfaction, but others believe the opposite. In my view, both job security and satisfaction are important.
学习啦在线学习网老雅点评:本段为开头段,首先提出话题,其次重述话题,再次提出自己观点。
We all need a secure job. If we have a stable job, we can make a lot of money. Then we can buy big houses and expensive cars, and can travel all around the world. This will make our life more wonderful. If we have a stable job, we will not have to worry about losing our job. So we do not have to spend time looking for jobs. This means we can have more time to stay together with our family.
老雅点评:本段论述“job security"的重要性。提出两个理由:1)如果有稳定工作,我们可以挣到很多钱。如何论述这个分论点呢?老雅提出的”自然接续法“可以发挥作用。挣到钱后我们可以买房子和车,可以到世界旅游,这样我们的生活就丰富多彩了。2) 如果有稳定工作,我们就不必担心失去工作。自然接续下去,不担心失去工作,就不必要花时间去找工作,结果呢,我们就有时间陪伴家人了。这样,用”自然接续法“,两个理由都得到了一定的论述,层次非常清楚,一句句写来,明白无误。
However, it is also important to have an interesting job. If we have an interesting job, we can do our job well. Then we can get happiness from our job. If we are not interested in what we do, we can never succeed no matter how stable our job is. My uncle James is a good example. He is a middle school teacher, which is a very stable job. However, he is not really interested in teaching. As a result, he is not very successful even at his fifties.
老雅点评:本段论述 "job satisfaction"的重要性。提出一点理由:如果有自己感兴趣的工作,我们就能做好工作。自然接续下去,做好工作,我们就能从工作中得到幸福。反过来,如果对自己从事的工作不感兴趣,我们就不能成功。接下来,举例论证。我有一位叔叔在中学当老师,工作是稳定了,但他对教学不感兴趣,结果到50多岁还是不成功。这里使用的还是非常简单直接的论述方法。
In conclusion, I think it is the best that we have a secure and satisfying job, because this kind of job helps us to make our living and have time to stay together with our family, and at the same time succeed in our career. I wish everybody could get such a job. (271 words)
老雅点评:结论段,首先重申自己的观点,并将前文的观点重新表述一下,最后提出自己的期待,结束全文。
总体评价:本文避免了讲大道理,避免了抽象,做到了简单而清晰,直接而晓畅。虽然思维稍显幼稚,语言也有不少重复生硬的地方,但把自己的思想说清楚了,因此很容易得到6分。如果英文水平不高的学生,试图很深刻地去写这个题目,语言千疮百孔,逻辑混乱不堪,即使用出了几个大词,其结果仍然是4分。低分段学生,一定要掌握正确的思维方法和写作方法,不要误信外面所谓写作名师的机经,什么用大词,用复杂句,写深刻一些,这些虽然不错,但真的不适合你。低分段同学不可不慎!
请自行比较学生的一篇习作,它看起来词汇用得大,思想好像也深刻一些,但它的得分只有3.5。
Most of the young people on job satisfaction have become an integral part of looking for a job. Their main argument is based on this idea; the work is the ultimate goal is to help achieve a better life. But recent research shows, the boredom in the workplace, hostility, pressure and depression can be lead to physical and mental illness, destroy our happy life.
学习啦在线学习网This attitude is another group of older people’s criticism; they think must attach great importance to the safety of work. First of all, they point out that this work is only a part of life, so disappointment will not stand in the way of life. In addition, a good life is depends on the table of food and pocket the cash. In this sense, work safety means to get rid of the concerns to the basic needs to really enjoy life.
学习啦在线学习网Therefore, I think whether it is good or bad, it will adhere to a lifetime of work, if they are able to adjust their career path according to the social and economic conditions, it will be better, because it will make them easier to adapt to change. It is inevitable.
雅思写作范文:废物循环
Task:In some countries there is not enough recycling of waste materials (eg. Paper, glass and cans.) What are the reasons and solutions?
Sample answer:
The last years has witnessed the increase in the awareness of environmental protection. However, there are still a lot of waste materials that have not been recycled. This essay will mainly discuss the reasons of this problem and suggest some solutions.
学习啦在线学习网One main reason of this problem may be that the public haven’t realized the importance of recycling wastes. As economy develops, people have high incomes and can afford a large number of items. At the same time, they don’t know how to deal with what they have used and haven’t realized that their buying habits will cause the consumption of energy, crease waste and increase pollution.
This problem can also be attributed to the lack of recycling sites in the public places. In some countries, the government is not be able to purchase enough recycling sites due to poor financial conditions. As a result, people are likely to find it difficult to place their rubbish into the dustbins.
学习啦在线学习网In order to address this problem, the government and citizens should make joint efforts. First of all, the government ought to provide free education of recycling lectures for the public. This is because many citizens haven’t received decent education and are not well informed of how to recycle and reuse waste items. What’s more, the recycling industry needs to be financially supported. If the government does not pay attention to the establishment and development of this industry, the problem will continue to exist in our society.
As mentioned above, the neglect of recycling and the shortage of recycling sites are the main factors leading to the increase of waste materials. To solve this problem, both the government and the public should collaborate.
(287 words)
雅思写作范文:气候变化,要努力避免还是适应?
学习啦在线学习网Task:Some people think that instead of preventing climate change, we need to find a way to live with it. Do you agree or disagree?
学习啦在线学习网有人认为我们应该学会适应气候而不是防止气候变化。你在多大程度上同意或者不同意?
解析:
气候变化是一个全球性的问题。前几年大家谈及最多的就是气候变暖(global warming, greenhouse effect)问题,好像地球大难临头的样子。近些年科学界对这个问题又有了重新认识,全球变暖的问题好像并不那么迫切了。因此,7月16日这个雅思作文题目才得以出台。要在15年前出这个题目,估计雅思考试本身都会被人喷死!那么,现在,这个问题提出就没有风险了。面对气候变化,我们应该努力去避免它,还是努力去适应它?
看起来耳熟能详的问题,论证起来却不那么容易。如果你写难了,你的英语表达一定很有问题。那么,如何比较简单入手来论述呢?首先,描写一下近年来的气候变化情况,然后讲避免气候变化成本很高,还不如去适应它。那么,如何讲避免气候变化成本高呢?从技术层面上去讲的话,累死你,效果还绝对差,所以还不如举例。然后,论证如何适应气候变化,就很容易了。
参考范文:
学习啦在线学习网Climate change has become a worldwide issue in recent decades. The Earth, according to some scientists, is becoming warmer and warmer and this is an alert signal for the future safety of the Earth. For these scientists, we must do something to prevent the climate from becoming worse. Meanwhile, there are also scientists who do not think much of the climate change and therefore suggest that we do nothing but find a way to live with it. For my part, I agree with the second group of scientists.
To reverse the climate change is never an easy undertaking. The widely acknowledged causes of climate change include the automobile gas emissions, factory pollution, deforestation, among others. If we wish to prevent the climate change, we will have to significantly reduce the use of cars and airplanes, close most of the factories and stop people from cutting trees. This means that, in order to make the Earth become cooler by one or two centigrade degree, our normal life will have to sacrifice. This is a cost most of us would never want to pay, although we have been repeatedly told of the benefits of doing so to the future generation.
学习啦在线学习网Then, in face of climate change, rather than trying to prevent it, we'd better try to find a way to live with it. For instance, when the hotter climate makes it impossible to grow a certain vegetable in summer, we can grow it earlier than now, store it and then eat it when the weather becomes too hot. Also, we can develop new technologies to grow the vegetable we need even when the climate has changed. Furthermore, when it is necessary, we can make adjustments about our work hours. If the weather has become intolerably hot, we can have a few days off and make up when it gets back to normal. Such flexibilities will help us solve the climate change problem and at the same time will not bring down our productivity.
Climate change is not a good thing, but for the time being, I do not think we should take expensive and costly measures to prevent it. Rather, I believe we should find a way to live with it.
学习啦在线学习网(369 words)
雅思写作范文:植树vs建楼
Task:Some people think that it is more important to plant more trees in open area which in towns and cities than build more housing. To what extend do agree or disagree?
Sample answer:
学习啦在线学习网With the rapid urbanization of our society, tree seems more valuable than ever before. At the same time, a great number of people support more greenery in open areas in towns and cities rather than more housing buildings. I am of the opinion that this action has more benefits than drawbacks.
Trees are more important part of the urban environment and a city with easy access to green spaces is more livable and attractive for most people. First of all, as we all know, green plants can carry out photosynthesis, which not only absorb carbon dioxide, but also release oxygen. Therefore, the air quality in cities will be improved greatly. Secondly, people living in cities with plenty of trees are less likely to suffer from health problems caused by smog and fumes. This is extremely important because today travelling by car has become a major means of travel in most cities.
Housing guarantees people’s basic need of accommodation. Today, many real estate developers overdevelop the open areas with the purpose of gaining huge profit. This will occupy the valuable and limited land resources. In addition, considering our almost saturated real estate industry and market, there is no more need to build more housing. In fact, many employers cannot afford to purchase a flat because of the high housing price. Therefore, compared to housing building, trees seems more significant to our environment.
学习啦在线学习网To sum up, I believe that planting more trees in open areas will bring far more gains than losses.
(252 words)
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