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适合演讲的英文笑话阅读

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学习啦在线学习网适合演讲的英文笑话阅读

  笑话能让人开心。开心就好,不管是笑话还是其他。本文是适合演讲的英文笑话,希望对大家有帮助!

  适合演讲的英文笑话:A Panda walks into a bar...

  A panda walks into a bar, sits down and orders a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter dead.

学习啦在线学习网   As the panda stands up to go, the bartender shouts, "Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!"

  The panda yells back at the bartender, "Hey, I'm a PANDA! Look it up!" The bartender opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for panda:

学习啦在线学习网   "A tree dwelling marsupial of Asian orgin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves.

  适合演讲的英文笑话:Jesus and the Robber

学习啦在线学习网   One night a robber broke into a home and heard a voice say, "Jesus is watching you!"while he rumagged through the desk.

学习啦在线学习网   He replied, "Who said that?!"

学习啦在线学习网   Once again he heard the same thing, "Jesus is watching you!"

学习啦在线学习网   The robber looked around the room only to see a parrot. He asked the parrot what its namewas. The parrot replied, "Cornelius."

  The robber said, "What kind of a name is that?! Who names a parrot that?!"

  The parrot said, "The same person who named that rottweiler behind you Jesus!"

  适合演讲的英文笑话:Talking Dog

学习啦在线学习网   In Mississippi, a guy sees a sign in front of a house:

  "Talking Dog for Sale."

学习啦在线学习网   He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a black mutt just sitting there.

学习啦在线学习网   "You talk?" he asks.

学习啦在线学习网   "Yep," the mutt replies.

  "So, what's your story?"

学习啦在线学习网   The mutt looks up and says, "Well, I discovered my gift of talking pretty young and I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies eight years running. The jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger and I wanted to settle down. So I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings there and was awarded a batch of medals. Had a wife, a mess of puppies, and now I'm justretired."

  The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

学习啦在线学习网   The owner says, "Ten dollars."

  The guy says, "This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him, so cheap?"

学习啦在线学习网   The owner replies, "He's just a big liar. He didn't do any of that stuff."

  
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